April 28, 2010

Envision How Eliminating Negative Self Talk Can Free You

By Brandon Boshnack

For some of us, it may seem easier to disregard a complement or make a joke about it, rather than just saying "thank you." You may even get to the point where you make excuses for participating in activities or going somewhere because you have negative self-talk talking yourself out of it. "I look like a stuffed sausage in spandex," may be something you tell yourself to keep from having to go to the gym. Or "She's way too pretty to ever date me," may be something you've concocted in your head so that you don't have to ask anyone out for fear of the dreaded rejection.

While to some, this self-talk may seem like you're just being humble or funny, it is actually very damaging to your self-esteem. This type of talk is called "negative self-talk" and gives us really no benefit or value. People who use this type of talk often find that they are constantly talking themselves down rather than focusing on what they can do. However, this can be combated and converted into positive thinking and reassurance to move yourself forward, rather than repeatedly holding yourself back.

Like any road to self-improvement, your first step is to realize what the problem is. After you know and understand the problem, you can begin to recognize why it is harmful. Consider the words that you use, if they seem more negative than positive, then it is time to make a change. Once you understand what you have been doing to your self-esteem you can begin to understand why it is harmful.

Once you've come to understand your own behavior, take the initiative! Start to change your attitude from a Negative Nancy to a Positive Percy. When you find yourself engaging in negative self-talk, try and stop that thought and replace it with something more uplifting. When you find yourself thinking you're too unattractive to land a date, start listing your positive qualities to yourself. Maybe remind yourself how you're an excellent cook, or hilariously funny. Whatever your strengths, in no time, you'll find that you have plenty to offer and your own brain will no longer be the enemy, sabotaging your self-esteem.

Sometimes, it is important to stop simply blaming yourself for being unintelligent and start thinking about solutions. Even something as simple as a poker game can require a change in thinking. Whether it's a big hand of Texas Hold 'Em or a botched project at work, don't just say "Well, I'm no good, that's why I always fail." Take the time to come up with reasons why things didn't work out and take the steps to change for the better.

Changing the way you communicate with yourself will take some time. It will take time to practice and use these tactics before you see recognizable changes. However, with commitment and a new, empowered attitude; you will begin to notice a change. After you make these changes you may begin to feel better about yourself and others may notice and reference a change in you as well, which will give you the ammunition you need to continue.

Here are 3 simple steps for eliminating negative self-talk:

1. Recognize negative self-talk

2. Use positive talk, where you would usually employ negative talk

3. Practice patience, as this process takes time and effort.

Negative self-talk has the ability to destroy the foundation of a positive mind. If you find yourself being weighed down with a negative attitude, give your life the boost it needs and follow this simple program for a more positive, productive and successful you. A brighter, less negative future awaits you! These changes could spell a renewed life and a new you. Don't wait. Change your life today.

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