Wherever we go it seems that someone is sharing - or selling - their version of The Secret, The Law of Attraction or "The Secret behind the Secret". They want to show us the path to happiness and wealth. The messages are very much the same, no matter who it is. The problem is that the truly valuable meaning behind these different "Universal Laws" is often missed. Whether you follow one person's teachings, or whether you believe in this at all, there are a few key points to remember.
It is easy to get wrapped up in trying to think positive thoughts but that is only one piece of the puzzle. Denying negative feelings and thoughts can by psychologically harmful and it is very difficult to think positively all the time. Just simply thinking about getting your dream job, dream spouse or dream car won't necessarily bring them into your life. What's vital to realize is that most of us are constantly - and unconsciously - thinking negative thoughts about ourselves. Most of us have people in our past (or present) who doubted our abilities, made fun of our dreams or implied that we weren't good enough. Without even realizing it we internalize these thoughts and let them have power over our true selves. The real work of "positive thinking" is in becoming aware of these internal voices and changing the thoughts with full awareness. While some people can successfully make big leaps in thinking, many of us need to do it more gradually. If your original thought is "No one is going to hire me because I'm too stupid", it might be too big a jump to think "I am an excellent employee and smart enough to get my dream job". Try thinking something more positive that you find believable. Something like, "I know that by reading and learning I am getting smarter every day". When you can say that with confidence and ease, move up another rung on the "positive" ladder. It is important to believe what you are saying so make sure to find something that rings true for you.
The other aspect to positive thinking is that we can't - and shouldn't - deny thoughts and feelings that we judge to be negative. The goal is to accept them, allow them to teach us whatever lesson we need to learn in the moment and let them go. We don't want to get stuck in a feeling, or obsessive about a thought because that is when it can affect us negatively. Letting go takes practice and self-awareness. For example, if you routinely become angry when driving to work in the morning, berating other drivers for getting in your way, try taking a deep breath and saying "they are doing the best they can in this moment" and then letting the anger go. Find a thought or sentence that works for you and practice saying it every time you feel that anger.
Many of us feel a lot fear and this is a common subject in Law of Attraction teachings. It is the rare person who lives completely without fear. Our brains are hard-wired to feel fear in truly threatening situations so that we can save ourselves. The problem is that many situations that provoke fear are not actually dangerous. Take a few moments and put your fears down on paper. Read them over. Do they make sense? Are you afraid for your safety because you live in a high-crime neighborhood? Acknowledge and accept that, then make choices that help you feel safer. Are you fearful because you spend too much time watching the news or crime stories on television? You can change that in an instant! Turn the TV off. Go for a walk. Spend time with friends. Do something positive that reminds you that the world is mostly beautiful, abundant, and safe.
Another example of a common fear is that of a parent. It is normal for us to worry about our children but when you find yourself feeling afraid, ask yourself if there is a real reason or if your mind is simply making up scary stories. Is your child safely asleep but you're obsessing because you just read about an abduction in the news? We let our imaginations run wild too often instead of staying present in the moment, where everything is usually just fine. When we hang on to or deny "negative" thoughts and feelings, that is when we lower our vibration and affect what we call into our lives.
Be aware of your negative automatic thoughts and work to turn them into more loving, positive ones. Stay open to feeling all of your emotions and thinking all of your thoughts then choose which ones you want to let go. Practice consistently, stay present in the here and now and please, treat yourself with kindness. You are human and deserve respect. We are not meant to be perfect, but we are meant to experience joy. Choose to get better each day, to learn and grow. Remember you will never get "there", wherever you think "there" is, so take the time to enjoy each day, each moment. The journey is all we have.
It is easy to get wrapped up in trying to think positive thoughts but that is only one piece of the puzzle. Denying negative feelings and thoughts can by psychologically harmful and it is very difficult to think positively all the time. Just simply thinking about getting your dream job, dream spouse or dream car won't necessarily bring them into your life. What's vital to realize is that most of us are constantly - and unconsciously - thinking negative thoughts about ourselves. Most of us have people in our past (or present) who doubted our abilities, made fun of our dreams or implied that we weren't good enough. Without even realizing it we internalize these thoughts and let them have power over our true selves. The real work of "positive thinking" is in becoming aware of these internal voices and changing the thoughts with full awareness. While some people can successfully make big leaps in thinking, many of us need to do it more gradually. If your original thought is "No one is going to hire me because I'm too stupid", it might be too big a jump to think "I am an excellent employee and smart enough to get my dream job". Try thinking something more positive that you find believable. Something like, "I know that by reading and learning I am getting smarter every day". When you can say that with confidence and ease, move up another rung on the "positive" ladder. It is important to believe what you are saying so make sure to find something that rings true for you.
The other aspect to positive thinking is that we can't - and shouldn't - deny thoughts and feelings that we judge to be negative. The goal is to accept them, allow them to teach us whatever lesson we need to learn in the moment and let them go. We don't want to get stuck in a feeling, or obsessive about a thought because that is when it can affect us negatively. Letting go takes practice and self-awareness. For example, if you routinely become angry when driving to work in the morning, berating other drivers for getting in your way, try taking a deep breath and saying "they are doing the best they can in this moment" and then letting the anger go. Find a thought or sentence that works for you and practice saying it every time you feel that anger.
Many of us feel a lot fear and this is a common subject in Law of Attraction teachings. It is the rare person who lives completely without fear. Our brains are hard-wired to feel fear in truly threatening situations so that we can save ourselves. The problem is that many situations that provoke fear are not actually dangerous. Take a few moments and put your fears down on paper. Read them over. Do they make sense? Are you afraid for your safety because you live in a high-crime neighborhood? Acknowledge and accept that, then make choices that help you feel safer. Are you fearful because you spend too much time watching the news or crime stories on television? You can change that in an instant! Turn the TV off. Go for a walk. Spend time with friends. Do something positive that reminds you that the world is mostly beautiful, abundant, and safe.
Another example of a common fear is that of a parent. It is normal for us to worry about our children but when you find yourself feeling afraid, ask yourself if there is a real reason or if your mind is simply making up scary stories. Is your child safely asleep but you're obsessing because you just read about an abduction in the news? We let our imaginations run wild too often instead of staying present in the moment, where everything is usually just fine. When we hang on to or deny "negative" thoughts and feelings, that is when we lower our vibration and affect what we call into our lives.
Be aware of your negative automatic thoughts and work to turn them into more loving, positive ones. Stay open to feeling all of your emotions and thinking all of your thoughts then choose which ones you want to let go. Practice consistently, stay present in the here and now and please, treat yourself with kindness. You are human and deserve respect. We are not meant to be perfect, but we are meant to experience joy. Choose to get better each day, to learn and grow. Remember you will never get "there", wherever you think "there" is, so take the time to enjoy each day, each moment. The journey is all we have.
About the Author:
Alana Sheeren is a mama, author and entrepreneur with a MA in Clinical Psychology and a passion for personal growth and conscious parenting. You can learn more about her here. She and her husband apply the Law of Attraction and help others do the same at real authentic success.
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