I could tell you horror stories from my childhood. Im guessing that these days, the majority of us could. I could be wrong, but I doubt any of us escaped childhood without scars from some sort of dysfunction. I will just say that I endured abuse.
I grew up with an alcoholic father. This left me with more pity for him than anger. He tried to the best of his ability to teach us good values. As is typical, his addiction and relative lack of social skills left him distant, unreliable, and angry. Our family situation left my mother depressed emotionally distant as well. I was the oldest of 6 children, and felt responsible for the happiness and well-being of everyone. I am not looking for sympathy here. In fact, I am grateful for my experiences, as they have given me an empathetic perspective and determination. I did not enter adulthood without scars.
My fist marriage was ruined by my lack of self-love and trust issues. Then, the divorce, nearly killed me. I had sworn that my children would never have to endure divorce, but didn't know how to do anything different. The truth is that we only know what we live until we learn something new, and we either change or cave. The pain made me cave, and then change.
Although healing is a lifelong process, I can say that I can talk about my past now without tears. Opposing statistics on marriages, my second marriage is really good. I believe this is because I took a good hard look at what I needed to change, and how to work through my ego and get to my true self.
Although I have always recognized my severe insecurities of being less-than or unlovable, I had no idea how to actually change them. I turned to my Christian beliefs first. Trusting in Christ while also being open to new teachings and methodology that aligned with my beliefs offered hope.
If I were to share each of the things I have found to help me, I would have to write a book (maybe someday). Yoga, meditation, service, endurance athletic events, a business that helps me reach goals in every area, and loving 8 great children unconditionally have been helpful in my healing journey. My business which has to do with the Law of Attraction has taught me a lot about finding joy. Sometimes I wonder why I hadn't heard of these principles earlier. Maybe I wasn't really ready to implement them. It's interesting how life gives you things when it does.
The bottom-line in actually changing my MIND -that is all of those deeply ingrained inhibiting beliefs was quite simply gratitude and the decision to be happy. Yes, it sounds simple and it is. Why is that so hard for so many to find and grasp then? I think it is just that we think we are going to get something out of being miserable. Like, sympathy or revenge. We don't want to let our abusers off the hook. Well, guess what? WE weren't the ones who put them there, and we cant take them off. They'll have to do that for themselves. And, we think that healing takes so much time and effort. It really just takes a decision.
Think of the 5 billion people who share this planet who you wouldn't want to trade places with? Gratitude! I would dare say that in any given hour of your day there is somethin to be grateful for.
Happiness. Lest you think it is not a choice, visit a third world country. We traveled to Ethiopia to adopt our two youngest children. Most people there were lucky to have a tin shed or a mud hut to live in, were facing rampant cases of AIDS all around them, had no medical care, millions of orphans, and very little food. And yet, most that we came in contact with were extremely happy. They had discovered what we in America may not ever. We are human BEINGS not human DOINGS. The things you do don't and never will define you . Just be, and decide to be happy. Smile. Don't even think outside of the box. How about outside of yourself?
I don't want to sound as if I am judging anyone who is lost in depression for whatever reason. I have been there. I know that healing sometimes takes time and work. My hope is to get even one person there faster than me. Time is wasting. Start living life the way God intended. "Men are that they might have joy
I grew up with an alcoholic father. This left me with more pity for him than anger. He tried to the best of his ability to teach us good values. As is typical, his addiction and relative lack of social skills left him distant, unreliable, and angry. Our family situation left my mother depressed emotionally distant as well. I was the oldest of 6 children, and felt responsible for the happiness and well-being of everyone. I am not looking for sympathy here. In fact, I am grateful for my experiences, as they have given me an empathetic perspective and determination. I did not enter adulthood without scars.
My fist marriage was ruined by my lack of self-love and trust issues. Then, the divorce, nearly killed me. I had sworn that my children would never have to endure divorce, but didn't know how to do anything different. The truth is that we only know what we live until we learn something new, and we either change or cave. The pain made me cave, and then change.
Although healing is a lifelong process, I can say that I can talk about my past now without tears. Opposing statistics on marriages, my second marriage is really good. I believe this is because I took a good hard look at what I needed to change, and how to work through my ego and get to my true self.
Although I have always recognized my severe insecurities of being less-than or unlovable, I had no idea how to actually change them. I turned to my Christian beliefs first. Trusting in Christ while also being open to new teachings and methodology that aligned with my beliefs offered hope.
If I were to share each of the things I have found to help me, I would have to write a book (maybe someday). Yoga, meditation, service, endurance athletic events, a business that helps me reach goals in every area, and loving 8 great children unconditionally have been helpful in my healing journey. My business which has to do with the Law of Attraction has taught me a lot about finding joy. Sometimes I wonder why I hadn't heard of these principles earlier. Maybe I wasn't really ready to implement them. It's interesting how life gives you things when it does.
The bottom-line in actually changing my MIND -that is all of those deeply ingrained inhibiting beliefs was quite simply gratitude and the decision to be happy. Yes, it sounds simple and it is. Why is that so hard for so many to find and grasp then? I think it is just that we think we are going to get something out of being miserable. Like, sympathy or revenge. We don't want to let our abusers off the hook. Well, guess what? WE weren't the ones who put them there, and we cant take them off. They'll have to do that for themselves. And, we think that healing takes so much time and effort. It really just takes a decision.
Think of the 5 billion people who share this planet who you wouldn't want to trade places with? Gratitude! I would dare say that in any given hour of your day there is somethin to be grateful for.
Happiness. Lest you think it is not a choice, visit a third world country. We traveled to Ethiopia to adopt our two youngest children. Most people there were lucky to have a tin shed or a mud hut to live in, were facing rampant cases of AIDS all around them, had no medical care, millions of orphans, and very little food. And yet, most that we came in contact with were extremely happy. They had discovered what we in America may not ever. We are human BEINGS not human DOINGS. The things you do don't and never will define you . Just be, and decide to be happy. Smile. Don't even think outside of the box. How about outside of yourself?
I don't want to sound as if I am judging anyone who is lost in depression for whatever reason. I have been there. I know that healing sometimes takes time and work. My hope is to get even one person there faster than me. Time is wasting. Start living life the way God intended. "Men are that they might have joy
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