I could tell you horror stories from my childhood. Im guessing that these days, the majority of us could. I could be wrong, but I doubt any of us escaped childhood without scars from some sort of dysfunction. I will just say that I endured abuse.
I grew up with an alcoholic father. This left me with more pity for him than anger. He tried to the best of his ability to teach us good values. As is typical, his addiction and relative lack of social skills left him distant, unreliable, and angry. Our family situation left my mother depressed emotionally distant as well. I was the oldest of 6 children, and felt responsible for the happiness and well-being of everyone. I am not looking for sympathy here. In fact, I am grateful for my experiences, as they have given me an empathetic perspective and determination. I did not enter adulthood without scars.
My fist marriage was ruined by my lack of self-love and trust issues. Then, the divorce, nearly killed me. I had sworn that my children would never have to endure divorce, but didn't know how to do anything different. The truth is that we only know what we live until we learn something new, and we either change or cave. The pain made me cave, and then change.
Although healing is a lifelong process, I can say that I can talk about my past now without tears. Opposing statistics on marriages, my second marriage is really good. I believe this is because I took a good hard look at what I needed to change, and how to work through my ego and get to my true self.
Although I have always recognized my severe insecurities of being less-than or unlovable, I had no idea how to actually change them. I turned to my Christian beliefs first. Trusting in Christ while also being open to new teachings and methodology that aligned with my beliefs offered hope.
It's funny how life throws things your way at just the right time. I had found yoga, meditation, service, loving 8 kids unconditionally, and endurance events helpful. But it wasn't until I learned and applied the principles of the Law of Attraction in my business that so many of my fears and limitations were lifted.
Healing really only takes a decision. It sounds too simple, I know. It's changing your beliefs so that you can make the decision to be happy that takes the time and effort (well for most). It's that we get some sort of "peanut prize" for not letting our offenders off the hook by being totally free of the harm they've done. Well, guess what? You are not hurting them by holding on. You didn't put them on the hook, and you can't let them off. You can however, let yourself off, and decide to be happy. Be grateful for the good things, and move forward.
Gratitude. Yes, we can all be grateful for something on any given day, and probably in any given hour. If you start feeling sorry for yourself again, think of the approximately 5 billion people in this world right now that you wouldn't trade places with!
Just in case you think happiness is not a choice, visit a third-world country. Maybe only through books or the internet. I traveled to Ethiopia to adopt our two youngest children, and it changed my life. Living conditions, AIDS, the orphan epidemic, and lack of food didn't stop most of these people from feeling joy and hope. They had learned to rely on the universal truth that we are human BEINGS rather than DOINGS. Think outside of yourself for a while. Things you have or even do will never define YOU. Just be. Find joy. It has always been there within you from the beginning of your creation, and you can't change it. Just recognize it, and find purpose!
I don't want to sound as if I am judging anyone who is lost in depression for whatever reason. I have been there. I know that healing sometimes takes time and work. My hope is to get even one person there faster than me. Time is wasting. Start living life the way God intended. "Men are that they might have joy
I grew up with an alcoholic father. This left me with more pity for him than anger. He tried to the best of his ability to teach us good values. As is typical, his addiction and relative lack of social skills left him distant, unreliable, and angry. Our family situation left my mother depressed emotionally distant as well. I was the oldest of 6 children, and felt responsible for the happiness and well-being of everyone. I am not looking for sympathy here. In fact, I am grateful for my experiences, as they have given me an empathetic perspective and determination. I did not enter adulthood without scars.
My fist marriage was ruined by my lack of self-love and trust issues. Then, the divorce, nearly killed me. I had sworn that my children would never have to endure divorce, but didn't know how to do anything different. The truth is that we only know what we live until we learn something new, and we either change or cave. The pain made me cave, and then change.
Although healing is a lifelong process, I can say that I can talk about my past now without tears. Opposing statistics on marriages, my second marriage is really good. I believe this is because I took a good hard look at what I needed to change, and how to work through my ego and get to my true self.
Although I have always recognized my severe insecurities of being less-than or unlovable, I had no idea how to actually change them. I turned to my Christian beliefs first. Trusting in Christ while also being open to new teachings and methodology that aligned with my beliefs offered hope.
It's funny how life throws things your way at just the right time. I had found yoga, meditation, service, loving 8 kids unconditionally, and endurance events helpful. But it wasn't until I learned and applied the principles of the Law of Attraction in my business that so many of my fears and limitations were lifted.
Healing really only takes a decision. It sounds too simple, I know. It's changing your beliefs so that you can make the decision to be happy that takes the time and effort (well for most). It's that we get some sort of "peanut prize" for not letting our offenders off the hook by being totally free of the harm they've done. Well, guess what? You are not hurting them by holding on. You didn't put them on the hook, and you can't let them off. You can however, let yourself off, and decide to be happy. Be grateful for the good things, and move forward.
Gratitude. Yes, we can all be grateful for something on any given day, and probably in any given hour. If you start feeling sorry for yourself again, think of the approximately 5 billion people in this world right now that you wouldn't trade places with!
Just in case you think happiness is not a choice, visit a third-world country. Maybe only through books or the internet. I traveled to Ethiopia to adopt our two youngest children, and it changed my life. Living conditions, AIDS, the orphan epidemic, and lack of food didn't stop most of these people from feeling joy and hope. They had learned to rely on the universal truth that we are human BEINGS rather than DOINGS. Think outside of yourself for a while. Things you have or even do will never define YOU. Just be. Find joy. It has always been there within you from the beginning of your creation, and you can't change it. Just recognize it, and find purpose!
I don't want to sound as if I am judging anyone who is lost in depression for whatever reason. I have been there. I know that healing sometimes takes time and work. My hope is to get even one person there faster than me. Time is wasting. Start living life the way God intended. "Men are that they might have joy
About the Author:
Laurice is a mother of eight, entrepreneur and business coach. Please click on the link to learnhow you can incorporate healing through a home business
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